| :: volponi :::::: arquivo de crônicas :: bio :: caderno de anotações :::::: em@il :: |
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Trabalho pra tirar ronco - (20-11-2009) (para Roberto Ambrósio) Domingo de manhã. Acordando da primeira noite fora de casa. E estava com fome. Maldita mulher, sempre reclamando do ronco. Já não bastava ter passado a dormir na sala, as portas cerradas, pra não acordar ninguém? Já não bastava a humilhação da vizinha de cima ficar fofocando pro condomínio inteiro que ali no andar ninguém conseguia dormir? Precisava expulsar de casa? O estômago roncou novamente. Tinha saído enxotado. “Ou você dá um jeito nisso, ou eu resolvo do meu jeito”, aos gritos. “Do meu jeito”, o que ela queria dizer? Maldita mulher, sempre reclamando. Na rua atrás da praça, viu que tinha um trabalho de macumba na encruzilhada. Chegou perto pra dar uma olhada: uma galinha preta, num prato sobre uma toalha vermelha, algumas velas, e farinha de acompanhamento. E ele adorava uma galinha caipira. “Melhor não mexer nisso. Deve ter mau-encanto”, pensou. Vai ver tinha sido a vizinha a encomendar o trabalho. Ou então a própria mulher. Não era possível. Será que era isso que ela queria dizer com “resolver do meu jeito”? Agora estava metida com coisas do além? Maldita mulher, sempre. Foi pro boteco. No lugar da cerveja e do rabo-de-galo que durava horas em dias normais, foi logo pra cachaça. Uma branquinha. Uma amarela. Outra de umburana. Abusou: pediu duas salineiras. Maldita mulher. Depois perdeu a conta. No final da tarde, o dinheiro tinha acabado. Foi embora, e agora era a vez da barriga roncar furiosamente. E como roncava! Ah, maldita. Ao passar novamente pela encruzilhada, achou uma solução: de joelhos, fez um sinal-da-cruz. Elevou os braços aos céus, numa reverência solene, não fosse o desequilíbrio da caninha. “Reza quebra O mau-encanto”, raciocinou. Apagou as velas uma a uma, com as mãos raspou a farofa pra dentro da cumbuca e pegou um pedaço grande de galinha. Ele adorava galinha caipira. Limpou a cara com a toalha encarnada. De barriga cheia e cabeça vazia, devia estar curado. Já não tinha mais nada a dizer à mulher. |
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leandro leal - link - piratinha@gmail.com 20-11-2009 15:27
aqui perto do trabalho tem uma central de despachos. na primeira vez que passei por la achei que ja haviam terceirizado ate a rezabraba… muito bom o texto malandro! |
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Tweets that mention Cronistas Reunidos » Volponi » Trabalho pra tirar ronco — Topsy.com - link 20-11-2009 15:37
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Rodrigo Volponi and João Aranha, leandro leal. leandro leal said: RT @volponi: Texto novo no ar! "Trabalho pra tirar ronco" http://migre.me/c6UF (para @ambrosioroberto) #cronistasReunidos [...] |
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Ricardo - link - ricardo@cronistasreunidos.com.br 26-11-2009 18:35
Very Good!! Me lembrou não sei pq um texto meu antigão. Q eu gosto deveras. Mto bom! |
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fabio - link - fabioz@pazzanibrindes.com.br 17-05-2011 13:22
Ótima crônica! Adorei, vou até dar uma fuçada nos arquivos ver as outras do Volponi :) |
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